The Oliver's Madhouse

When Life Isn't Complicated Enough

A Meme – Who Am I Really?

I have been very kindly tagged in a Meme by Sarah over at Puffin Diaries.

I love these Meme’s as with being a fairly new blogger it’s hard to take in so much and to really get to know other bloggers as well as trying to decide the right path in which you want to blog to go down. (when lets be honest we spend too much of our time obsessing over the stats page)

Here are the rules:

  • Post 5 random facts about yourself
  • Choose 5 other deserving blogs with less than 200 subscribers to nominate and link their blogs in your post
  • Tell your nominees you have chosen them for this award by leaving a comment on their blogs
  • Answer the 5 questions the tagger has asked you and ask your own 5 questions to the people you nominate
  • No tag backs (sorry if I have cocked this up guys)

My 5 Random Facts

  1. I have twin sister 🙂
  2. I am a smoker (and I like it)
  3. My hubby was my first boyfriend when I was 13 and he was 12 … after many moons apart and we then got back together again 3 years ago
  4. I eloped to get married in June with just Ollie and the kids and told no one
  5. I love dogs (however I hate animal fur on the floors, much to hubbys annoyance as he wants a dog)

My 5 Questions Given to Me By Sarah at Puffin Diaries

1.       What is your favourite childhood memory?

This is a hard one, I have so so many good memories of my childhood most involving terrorising my twin sister!

Although one that still makes me smile even now is one when I was little I loved eating the drinking chocolate straight from the tub and I woke one morning (very early) and went down stairs downstairs grabbed a spoon and tucked in. I heard my mum get up and I tipped the contents of the remaining drinking chocolate over our dog and blamed her. (did I really think my mum was stupid enough to believe me?? ) sorry mum x

 2.       What would be your last meal?

I couldn’t choose so I would have to visit the Red Hot Buffet Shack in Nottingham as they serve food from around the world and you can pick your favourite bits! , although I do love anything with mushrooms and I love nibbly food like chicken wings.

 3.       If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be and why?

It would have to be Whitby! Ollie and I love it there and that’s where we eloped to get married. We also found out we were expecting Joshua the day before we left for a trip to Whitby and we spent the whole weekend just us knowing and getting excited (we even bought a baby name book and read it on the beach) We try to go at least 2-3 times a year.

4.       What are your favourite past times other than blogging?

I love Zumba and playing hockey for a local team. I also read a book every night too.

5.       Do you have any regrets and if so what are they?

My main regret is not getting out a violent relationship sooner (I Am No Victim … I Am A Survivor)

The 5 Questions I am Asking My Picked Bloggers:

  1. What has been your scariest moment in life?
  2. What is your favourite season and why?
  3.  Why did you start your blog?
  4.  What is your least favourite body part (on you) and why?
  5.  Marmite – lover or hater?

I am asking Vicky from: Verily, Victoria Vocalises , Emma from: The Cycling Mummy , Ember from: Purplecraymum’s Blog

19 Comments »

Its Never to Late to Learn

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Over this last few months my brain has been whirring and I have been feeling restless.

Those of you that know me will know this is what I do, after periods of time non learning I get the itch to better myself and end up back at college. This particular restlessness started when my daughter was about a year old when I returned to college to complete several courses at once and finally get my butt moving on some sort of career.

When I left school after my GCSE’s I wanted to work with children and went off to college to gain an NNEB in childcare. After completing I went off to work in a private day nursery and within 6 months I hated the job, I hated working with children and I hated the staff … rapid departure …

After my complete turnaround I found myself in some very random jobs, bingo calling, cellophane packer of Christmas gifts and packing razor blades to name but a few ..

I then found myself pregnant with my daughter and was still unaware of where my life was going. After finding myself single when Beth was 6 months old I had to take stock and knew I needed to get something better for Beth and myself. So I completed the following:

  • OCR Clait
  • OCR Initial Text Processing
  • OCR Intermediate Text Processing (level 2)
  • OCR Intermediate Word Processing (level 2)
  • OCR Intermediate Audio Transcription (level 2)
  • OCR Intermediate Mail Merge (level 2)
  • OCR Intermediate Business Presentation (level 2)
  • OCR Clait Plus – Presentation Graphics
  • OCR Advanced Document Presentation (level 3)
  • OCR Advanced Text Processing (level 3)
  • ILEX Advanced Legal Word Processing (level 3)
  • ILEX Advanced Communication Skills
  • ILEX Advanced Legal Administration
  • ILEX Legal Secretaries Diploma

Yay, check me out!

Now after settling down working for a local hospital I got the restlessness again in 2010 and went off to do something else..

  • ILM Certificate in Team Leading

Then after the initial excitement died once again and the restlessness returned I went back to college 5 months pregnant with Joshua and completed (with only 4 weeks missed after his birth)..

  • CIPD – Certificate in Human Resources Practice

Now it won’t surprise any of you now that I have the urge once again to do something so this week I have had my phone interview and been accepted on a course I start in January …

  • ILM – Level 3 Leadership & Management (all 3 parts)

Who knows why I feel the itch but the longer I stay away from the external work place the more world domination is likely.

5 Comments »

When 4 Became 3 An Update …

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Firstly I have to say thank you so much to all my lovely followers that commented on my recent post ‘When 4 became 3’. As this was such an emotional time for me I felt I wanted to post about this even though when I set my blog up I didn’t intend to pour my heart out, I did feel that there are others out there that may benefit from feeling they weren’t alone.

I have to report that Bethany is back home with us (Although her dad has told her its only for a few weeks to see how it goes) She has now returned to school and we have all sobbed buckets.

Bethany has told us not only does she feel angry most of the time she doesn’t know why, she also says she misses her dad and wants to see him more. (Since April he confirmed her will spend more time with her than the 2 days a fortnight … it’s never happened)

I have I think rightly or wrongly got the ball rolling with hopefully some support for Bethany and for us as a family to work out the problems we have.  We have requested help and should be getting the help we need soon.

I can’t tell you all how pleased I am that Bethany is home and that we can now sort things out. Although right now I am feeling very disheartened about the fact I contacted our GP and school about the problems we were having a month ago and I am still waiting for the school to fill in the relevant form to get us some support…. I will NOT give up!

19 Comments »

Friends

We all need them and let’s be honest the wrong kind can certainly be far worse than an enemy you thought you had!

Now don’t get me wrong I love some ‘me’ time but since having children I, like most parents find having the time to do ‘Me’ things with my girly friends a little more challenging.

Over the years I have had many fine weather friends (these are the kind that are friend when the goings good, but nowhere to be seen when needed!!)

I have since getting older and wiser cracked down on the afore mentioned time wasters and I have scaled down my friend list! (Or was it them while I wasn’t looking?) I have only a select few that I would spend my precious time with now a days.

The reason I have been thinking about ‘my friends’ recently is I have found myself in a somewhat strange position.  I Jaime Oliver have found myself justifying myself and the needs of my family to a husband of a so called friend?? I have not had to justify myself to anyone since I became an adult and am a little taken aback to be honest.

Now this particular ‘friend’ is lovely don’t get me wrong however selfishly or not I don’t have the time to constantly text/talk/chat/email or spend every waking second with someone.

I look at my role at home as a job and I try to carry the majority of the household duties as my hubby works hard at work, weekends and evening we chip in together. Now is it just me that does this?

Is it wrong to want my friends to be able to fit round my hectic family life and still want to be my friend even if we don’t communicate directly for a week or weeks at a time??

In my opinion is not wrong, my other friends don’t seem to have a problem with me not communicating for weeks or even months at a time. They know I would walk over hot coals to help them in anyway if needed and if they rang me at stupid o’clock to cry down the phone I would offer to come to theirs with tissues, chocolate and wine!

I hope I don’t get to many of the above mentioned calls … wine is expensive after all!


6 Comments »

How Your Child See’s You – Meme

I was ‘tweeted’ this week by Karen who blogs over on themumstodolist about this great Meme where our child/ren draw a picture of how they see us as mummies.Obviously Joshua cant even draw yet and to be fair he would only eat the crayon so big sister Beth (11yrs) stepped in and was quite excited ….. what was i thinking??

So this evening i was presented with this: Imagei

I am very very pleased with this i have to say, my hair is nice and thick and she said she made it straight as “you always straighten it”  i am nicely in proportion which is the bit i am most pleased about, as really i am a shorty at 5″ and carrying rather too much of the baby weight for my liking, however she obviously doesn’t see that 🙂

However what i think has shocked me the most is i have a big grin!  Now as some of you may or may not know my daughter and i are experiencing a few issues, her pre-teen hormones and my inability to be able to reason, cajole, argue or even get an honest answer from her is driving me insane, so needless to say most of the time i am experiencing life through gritted teeth. So maybe she doesn’t see the gritted teeth or the frustration?? This is good!!

Looking at the eyes i think she must think i am some sort of demon, however i can live with that 🙂

I am now going to ask some others to join in the fun:

http://allaboutflanj.wordpress.com

http://purplecrazymum.wordpress.com/

http://www.mysidekickandme.com/

7 Comments »

I Am No Victim …. I Am a Survivor

Over recent months I have had such an overwhelming sense of wholeness and have spent some time reflecting on parts of my past that have made me who I am and made me the person i am today.

This story starts after the breakdown of my 1st marriage in 2007. It was a scary time for me and Bethany. Although my husband and I had been together 5 years we only managed 9 months married. Now don’t get me wrong we didn’t hate each other or have affairs, we simply were unhappy and decided to call it a day. My ex hubby stayed in what was our matrimonial home and I bought another house and moved away

After the split I was working full time and found I was quite isolated so joined some on line dating sites. Now don’t get me wrong I met some lovely people and have even remained friends with a couple of nice guys so that in itself was not the problem!

In October of 2007 I met a guy and fell completely head over heels (gone was all sanity) a few months in, he started to give me snippets of information about his past life but nothings concrete, I was lead to believe that he had had some issues in the past and he was trying to turn his life around (Where were the hills, that I should be running for?) Firstly his 2 children, who I was informed had been adopted to another couple as he and his ex-partner were too young to cope (I pulled out violins) 7 months in I was told he had a fight with another bloke in town and he was on probation (where were the alarm bells?) Next came the past problems with drugs and his insistence on wanting to get clean (what did I know I have never taken drugs nor would I want too). In my naive love sick state I thought I could help, I thought he could change and that he wanted too, I genuinely thought this was love.

Looking back in hindsight over the time we were together I cannot believe that any sane, rational, sensible human being would not have seen what was coming, yet I didn’t  I had meetings with his Probation Worker and Drugs Councillors as I wanted this relationship to be out in the open and I wanted to make it work and I wanted to help him.

At about this point in time things seriously started to change, he was back on drugs, drinking, selling anything he owned for money (and anything he could get his hands on that was mine) he  also very aggressive. The thing that affected me most of all I have to say was the lying. He would say he was somewhere and then would either trip himself up once sober again or he would get caught out. He was seeing numerous people behind my back but at by this time my confidence was so low it became the norm, however he denied it adamantly. I really started to begin to think that this was all my fault and that I was completely nuts.

During this relationship there had started to be an escalation to the violence at first it was a shove or push then it became scary he was increasingly hurting me and destroying my home by kicking in doors, punching walls and he even bite my face.  I was terrified but didn’t know how to get out. I was so convinced that my family and friends wouldn’t want to know me and they too would think this was all my fault I was trapped.

The final act came on September 5th 2009. After attending my very close friend’s wedding. On returning home I realised I couldn’t find my phone so I woke my then boyfriend to ask him if he had seen it. I was then pushed down the stairs from top to bottom (I lost consciousness at some point) on coming too I was then kicked in the head while I was on the floor. As my head was bleeding profusely I knew I needed to get out so I crawled through my living room on my hands and knees; I found the house phone and called 999. (I was so scared that he would wake up from the sofa in which he was sleeping and see what I had done so I hid it under a sofa cushion).  I tried to get out but found i was locked in and he had taken my car keys, house keys and purse.

At this point he woke and realised I was trying to flee, I was then smothered with a pillow. In my head something clicked and I knew if I didn’t fight I would die. I fought and screamed and he finally released me and went to the kitchen. I heard the cutlery draw open and knew what he was going to do: he was going to stab me. I then ran for the front living room window but with it being a bay window and I am only a shorty I couldn’t get out so I opened the window and screamed like I have never screamed before. He was pulling my legs trying to get me back onto the floor but thankfully my neighbours heard. My neighbours phoned the police and I hung on tight to the window and some of the other neighbours began kicking in my front door. When he realised what they were doing and that they were not going away he escaped out the back door and ran off.

After this attack I was taken to hospital and had my scalp glued back together and tons of x-rays however as the blows had been unexpected I had not tensed and was very lucky to have no bones broken.

He was arrested and charged the same night and was remanded in custody. Even after several bail attempts all were denied and he remained in custody until trial in January 2010.

The following months after this I had no choice but to sell my house for a reduced price in order to sell it quickly (I was terrified he would be let out and know where I was) I had tests and appointment to my attended for the damage I sustained to my elbow and I had months and months of counselling. I physically will always have a scar (thankfully with lots of thick hair no one can see it) although you can feel it. I have continued nerve damage to my right elbow which leaves me with regular pin and needles type feelings and I suffer with some Post Traumatic Stress (not all the time just little things that can trigger it)

It emerged after all this his probation worker should of informed the Social Services team and others of his presence in my home and they should of contacted me to support me, knowing what this man’s past had involved. I was just another government statistic in people that were let down by multiple departments and it could of cost me my life. I was supported my Womens Aid and I would of been lost without them.

My past is my past and it makes me who I am today, I am confident, independent and strong. I count my blessings every day and don’t take anything for granted. I know without the past I wouldn’t have what I have now so for that I thank you ex-boyfriend…. I have a perfect hubby and children and although we are not financially rolling in it we love each other and team Oliver is strong, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

* He received a 2 year prison sentence at Crown Court followed by a 2 year probation order for this attack.

(please note the pictures were taken 19 days after the attack)

28 Comments »

I’ve been tagged in a meme through the BritMums blogging network … so here goes:

I’ve been tagged in a meme through the BritMums blogging network. This is the first one i have been tagged in, so i hope i don’t look an idiot and get it right!

These are the rules I’ve been given:
– post 5 random facts about yourself
– choose 5 other deserving blogs with less than 200 subscribers to nominate and link their blogs in your post.

– tell your nominees you have chosen them for this award by leaving a comment on their blogs
– answer the 5 questions the tagger has asked you and ask your own 5 questions to the people you nominate

– no tag backs

5 random facts about me:

1. I smoke (yes, yes i know its bad but its my 5 mins of peace)

2. It my heaviest i weighed over 17st (and i am only 5 foot tall)

3. I still have a fear of the hand that grabs you from under the bed.

4. I absolutely love horror films!

5. I’m OCD on cleaning and hate mess!!

The Questions given to me from: http://lesaclarke.blogspot.co.uk/

1. If you have a favorite author why does their writing appeal to you?
I  don’t really have a favorite author however i do read detective type books and i am currently reading books by James Patterson.
2. What’s your favorite activity to do as a family?
We love (when funds allow) to go to the coast and love the Whitby area, earlier this year we eloped and married in Whitby with just us and the kids!
3. Why did you start blogging?
I love reading blogs and love actual reviews for product that can be found on blogs as they are tested by real people! I love the fact it opens up a hole new world of possibilities and that i can document our lives 🙂
4. When blogging which do you think is more important: quantity or quality?
Honesty, i have read in the past some blogs that while reading you can tell that the person is not being true or honest and if it feels false i don’t continue to follow.
5. What’s your favorite part of the day?
I do love first thing in the mornings with smiles from Joshua and Beth waffling about pre-teen hormonal subjects. I do also love the end of the day when the kids are tucked up in bed all safe and warm and me and the hubby gets to chill (and watch soaps!)
I’ve chosen to tag:
http://www.mummysonthewine.com/
http://liddylala.wordpress.com/
http://janglitz.wordpress.com/
http://www.mummysonthewine.com/
http://thecyclingmummy.wordpress.com/
2 Comments »

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