The Oliver's Madhouse

When Life Isn't Complicated Enough

The Long Journey Ahead

on 03/01/2013

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After recent pre-teen hormones and added issues with Beth (When 4 Became 3 & When 4 Became 3 an Update)  it was nice that over Christmas we got to spend some quality time together. Don’t get me wrong we had some real hum dingers of arguments but all in all we got some time together which was much needed.

I think I need to remember that although she is 11 going on 12 she is still a child (even if she would never admit it!) I do love her with every breath in my body but by god she can be hard work.

I must endeavour to take a very deep breath when things get difficult between us as she has many issues to deal with, some with me and others with her dad (I will blog about this tomorrow)

*mental note made*   –    BREATH!

BETH – We have a very long journey ahead and I am proud to stand with you and be here when you need me.

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12 responses to “The Long Journey Ahead

  1. I have 2 around this age and one in particular is proving to be such a “challenge” – sounds like we have a similar feisty relationship as you and your daughter do….maybe we should support each other?!

  2. I am certain that you guys are going to be FINE! Using your blog as a place to vent your feelings and help people like us to get you through is the best therapy. You CAN do this! (I too am dreading the teenage years ;))

    • Jaime Oliver says:

      Thanks Vicky, my blog was never intended to be so personal but i have to be honest its been fantastic to be able to unload and to work it through in my head. Roll on next Monday when the first appointment is booked in 🙂 x

  3. I’m glad you had some good times over Christmas, and having gone and read the back story, to her moving in with her Dad, and then home again, I’m happy for you.
    I moved out of home when I was 15, for a period of time. My parents were together, but I went through a terrible stage, from about age 12-15, hitting puberty, my mother also hitting the early stages of menopause and what we now know was pain from her illness, and because I had been (and still was) at boarding school, I was ferociously independant, and capable, but also not mature enough to handle things in the same breath, if that makes sense. We had lots of rows, and in the end, I moved in with my best friend and her Mum, a mile away, to give us all some space. Her Mum was cool, very liberal, and I just wanted to be treated like the adult I felt I was. I did move back home, after 6 months, and Mum and I worked a lot of things out. But it took a long time for me to learn to handle my anger, to deal with family issues that added to my wanting to be away from them, and being so much like my Mum, and sharing her stubborn, strong, feisty personality, which caused us to clash so hard. Counselling helped a lot.
    Now I have kids of my own, I see it from my Mum’s side, as the parent. It’s such a hard place to be. Hang in there, you’re doing a good job, she’s in a very tough stage, and it sounds to me like she’s got a good Mum, who is trying her damnedest to help her and support her, and she will come right, it may just take time, and work to process things so you guys can grow as a family.

    • Jaime Oliver says:

      Thank you thats such a lovely comment, your situation when you were younger sound almost identical. Beth and i are so much alike its scary and to be fair we both like to get the last word in so this is like a red rag to bull for both of us.

      Beth is does think she is 11 going on 19 and although she is very intelligent she is not so worldly wise in common sense and it scares me to death!

      I have sought help for us and the appointment is next monday and if i am honest i cant wait!

      I just know i dont want to give up 🙂

  4. Sarahmumof3 says:

    I’m glad you got to enjoy time together over Christmas even if it was abit strained, hope that 2013 is a year which works well for you and Beth I am sure with you by her side when she needs you, things will work out just right x

  5. I’m sure if you remember to breath you’ll get through things as best as you can *hugs* I just hope I can think as clearly and calmly as you have with Beth when Eva reaches the pre-teen/teen stage! I find tantrums hard to deal with as it is at times lol xx

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