The Oliver's Madhouse

When Life Isn't Complicated Enough

Meme – My Top Five Rant Inducers of the Moment

soap box

After an atrociously bad week here at the Oliver’s Mad House including bumping my car, chipped windscreens, temper tantrums (from all 4 of us) to much to do and not enough hours and all the while remaining calm and with a permanently plastered on smile (through gritted teeth) my blogging Chum Suzanne from 3 Children and It sent me a blogging Meme that could not of come at a better time! … My Top Five Rant Inducers of the Moment!

Soap box here I come ….

1. Parent & Child Parking: This is my all-time goat getter!

As some of you may know since early in my pregnancy with Joshua I developed Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) it affects everything I do and I take medication daily to control the pain. Some things are made incredibly hard with this condition like picking things up and moving things (yes I am referring to my small child)

Why oh why do the lazy sods with no children think it is there god given privilege to park in these bays? Why is there need greater than mine? They are in fact designated to help parents with small children get easier access to their child due to the restrictive nature of car seats.

My ball breaker of a rant in all honesty has to be the disabled badge holders that even when there are free disabled spaces they park in parent and child bays anyway!  On one such occasion I felt brave and asked this person why they had taken the only parent and child bay when there were 6 disabled bays left that I couldn’t park in, I was told ‘ I have a blue badge I can park anywhere I like’

Hence my number one!

2. Smug Facebook Status’s & Claims from the Parenting Perfect

I am sure we have all seen them, they are the ones that update their status every 36 minutes with the perfect things their hubby, child and extended family are up too and how much they couldn’t live without them … but really who are they trying to kid??

Yes every now and again it’s nice to appreciate ones loved ones but does it have to go on Facebook and does their 1 year old really read them? And surly if they were all so damn perfect you would want to spend your time with them not sit on Facebook 24/7 playing games?? .. Maybe it’s just me? I will happily keep my crazy mixed up bunch over that any day, we have nothing to prove!
3. Cold Callers – Sod off ……. Its that simple, did I call you? No … then sod off

I have discovered recently after having been inundated with several each day through my mobile and home phone the quickest way to get rid is:

“ we are bankrupt and we private rent” saying this usually get them gone without any further utterance!
We now barely get any much to my delight.

4. Dog Poo – I push a pushchair so it has to be on my list!

Ok so I can’t blame the dogs but I can blame the owners, pick it bloody up!! Not only is it revolting and time consuming to clean down from pushchairs and shoes it can pass on infections and diseases to those who have poor immune systems or our little tots. You choose to have a dog so you HAVE to pick up its mess.

Cats are bad enough going anywhere they please but as dogs are not supposed to be just roaming you have no excuse to not pick it up … you are there!

5. Hypochondriacs – Bizarre I know .. 

I just don’t have the time for them, we all are full of ailments and issues but do we really have to make a mountain over a molehill … yes you have a head ache … that does not mean your suffering from a migraine … nor dying … nor does it mean you have to present yourself 3 times a week at the Drs to be told the same thing as every test on god’s green earth has been completed and come back with nothing for the last few years…..

Now I am hoping I will still have some followers and blogging chums left, so I am passing this one over now for some other fine blogging chums to vent.

Charlotte from: The Crumby Mummy                Sarah from: The Puffin Diaries
Leyla from: This Day I Love                                    Ember from: Purple Crazymum
Karen from: Women Wife and Mum


Fun Photo Fun – Temper Tantrum in Kwik Fit

I know this will sound strange but since Saturday I have had a manic week, chipped car windscreens, jaunts to Clarks for Joshua’s new shoes, shopping, washing, ironing, hockey matches, pre-teen hormones and washing up and too many nappy changes to mention!

That all being said yesterday I almost took out the front axle on my car from the biggest pothole I had ever seen on the way back home and I could have cried. For the remainder of the journey the car was pulling left so badly if felt like I was battling with bungee rope to keep the car were I was steering it!

This morning after a particularly tiresome draining battle with my pre hormonal daughter and her appalling tone of voice I was on the verge of breaking.

I pulled into the Kwik Fit car park and went into reception, was told it would be a few minutes but then they will get straight on to the cars tracking and balancing.

After a 45 minute wait in a room full of people, Joshua had lost his patience and was beginning to test mine! I tried everything and my resolve was wearing through I was sat with my son who was now wanting to destroy the posters and leaflets in the reception area. There were several people who were scowling and looking down their noses at me and I wanted to cry.

The final straw happened when Joshua’s patience ran out completely and he threw himself over the oil covered floor and through an almighty tantrum.

Ok I hear you saying … that’s not fun … however instead of collecting him of the floor and hiding outside with him till the tantrum passed, I laughed, I laughed so hard I was crying. This is why this is a fun photo.. it made me laugh even though I have been so super stressed.


A Meme – Who Am I Really?

I have been very kindly tagged in a Meme by Sarah over at Puffin Diaries.

I love these Meme’s as with being a fairly new blogger it’s hard to take in so much and to really get to know other bloggers as well as trying to decide the right path in which you want to blog to go down. (when lets be honest we spend too much of our time obsessing over the stats page)

Here are the rules:

  • Post 5 random facts about yourself
  • Choose 5 other deserving blogs with less than 200 subscribers to nominate and link their blogs in your post
  • Tell your nominees you have chosen them for this award by leaving a comment on their blogs
  • Answer the 5 questions the tagger has asked you and ask your own 5 questions to the people you nominate
  • No tag backs (sorry if I have cocked this up guys)

My 5 Random Facts

  1. I have twin sister 🙂
  2. I am a smoker (and I like it)
  3. My hubby was my first boyfriend when I was 13 and he was 12 … after many moons apart and we then got back together again 3 years ago
  4. I eloped to get married in June with just Ollie and the kids and told no one
  5. I love dogs (however I hate animal fur on the floors, much to hubbys annoyance as he wants a dog)

My 5 Questions Given to Me By Sarah at Puffin Diaries

1.       What is your favourite childhood memory?

This is a hard one, I have so so many good memories of my childhood most involving terrorising my twin sister!

Although one that still makes me smile even now is one when I was little I loved eating the drinking chocolate straight from the tub and I woke one morning (very early) and went down stairs downstairs grabbed a spoon and tucked in. I heard my mum get up and I tipped the contents of the remaining drinking chocolate over our dog and blamed her. (did I really think my mum was stupid enough to believe me?? ) sorry mum x

 2.       What would be your last meal?

I couldn’t choose so I would have to visit the Red Hot Buffet Shack in Nottingham as they serve food from around the world and you can pick your favourite bits! , although I do love anything with mushrooms and I love nibbly food like chicken wings.

 3.       If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be and why?

It would have to be Whitby! Ollie and I love it there and that’s where we eloped to get married. We also found out we were expecting Joshua the day before we left for a trip to Whitby and we spent the whole weekend just us knowing and getting excited (we even bought a baby name book and read it on the beach) We try to go at least 2-3 times a year.

4.       What are your favourite past times other than blogging?

I love Zumba and playing hockey for a local team. I also read a book every night too.

5.       Do you have any regrets and if so what are they?

My main regret is not getting out a violent relationship sooner (I Am No Victim … I Am A Survivor)

The 5 Questions I am Asking My Picked Bloggers:

  1. What has been your scariest moment in life?
  2. What is your favourite season and why?
  3.  Why did you start your blog?
  4.  What is your least favourite body part (on you) and why?
  5.  Marmite – lover or hater?

I am asking Vicky from: Verily, Victoria Vocalises , Emma from: The Cycling Mummy , Ember from: Purplecraymum’s Blog


Silent Sunday


Its Never to Late to Learn


Over this last few months my brain has been whirring and I have been feeling restless.

Those of you that know me will know this is what I do, after periods of time non learning I get the itch to better myself and end up back at college. This particular restlessness started when my daughter was about a year old when I returned to college to complete several courses at once and finally get my butt moving on some sort of career.

When I left school after my GCSE’s I wanted to work with children and went off to college to gain an NNEB in childcare. After completing I went off to work in a private day nursery and within 6 months I hated the job, I hated working with children and I hated the staff … rapid departure …

After my complete turnaround I found myself in some very random jobs, bingo calling, cellophane packer of Christmas gifts and packing razor blades to name but a few ..

I then found myself pregnant with my daughter and was still unaware of where my life was going. After finding myself single when Beth was 6 months old I had to take stock and knew I needed to get something better for Beth and myself. So I completed the following:

  • OCR Clait
  • OCR Initial Text Processing
  • OCR Intermediate Text Processing (level 2)
  • OCR Intermediate Word Processing (level 2)
  • OCR Intermediate Audio Transcription (level 2)
  • OCR Intermediate Mail Merge (level 2)
  • OCR Intermediate Business Presentation (level 2)
  • OCR Clait Plus – Presentation Graphics
  • OCR Advanced Document Presentation (level 3)
  • OCR Advanced Text Processing (level 3)
  • ILEX Advanced Legal Word Processing (level 3)
  • ILEX Advanced Communication Skills
  • ILEX Advanced Legal Administration
  • ILEX Legal Secretaries Diploma

Yay, check me out!

Now after settling down working for a local hospital I got the restlessness again in 2010 and went off to do something else..

  • ILM Certificate in Team Leading

Then after the initial excitement died once again and the restlessness returned I went back to college 5 months pregnant with Joshua and completed (with only 4 weeks missed after his birth)..

  • CIPD – Certificate in Human Resources Practice

Now it won’t surprise any of you now that I have the urge once again to do something so this week I have had my phone interview and been accepted on a course I start in January …

  • ILM – Level 3 Leadership & Management (all 3 parts)

Who knows why I feel the itch but the longer I stay away from the external work place the more world domination is likely.


Fun Photo Fun – Tupperware

Now as most of you know i like order and routine but with Joshua getting bigger and the fact he no longer likes staying in his playpen on his own, i have to now have my little helper while i am doing the mundane in the kitchen!

Yesterday while drying the pots and putting them away i ventured into the Tupperware drawer to put something away and his big blue eyes lit up!!

Problem solved, his new favorite toys are  Tupperware containers!!

Who needs expensive toys .. Christmas should be cheap then!


When 4 Became 3 An Update …


Firstly I have to say thank you so much to all my lovely followers that commented on my recent post ‘When 4 became 3’. As this was such an emotional time for me I felt I wanted to post about this even though when I set my blog up I didn’t intend to pour my heart out, I did feel that there are others out there that may benefit from feeling they weren’t alone.

I have to report that Bethany is back home with us (Although her dad has told her its only for a few weeks to see how it goes) She has now returned to school and we have all sobbed buckets.

Bethany has told us not only does she feel angry most of the time she doesn’t know why, she also says she misses her dad and wants to see him more. (Since April he confirmed her will spend more time with her than the 2 days a fortnight … it’s never happened)

I have I think rightly or wrongly got the ball rolling with hopefully some support for Bethany and for us as a family to work out the problems we have.  We have requested help and should be getting the help we need soon.

I can’t tell you all how pleased I am that Bethany is home and that we can now sort things out. Although right now I am feeling very disheartened about the fact I contacted our GP and school about the problems we were having a month ago and I am still waiting for the school to fill in the relevant form to get us some support…. I will NOT give up!


90 Years Young

The Oliver’s have had a hectic weekend this weekend however the highlight has been our trip to Leeds to see my hubby’s Grandma Joan who turned 90 on Saturday!

The unfortunate thing is although plans were made to celebrate at her home, about 3 weeks ago she had a fall and has been in hospital ever since.

Now I have to say Joan is a remarkable woman and has suffered over the last few years with 3 heart attacks and diabetes to name just a few.

At this stage there is no guarantee that she will ever return to her home which she has lived in for over 50 years, she is going to have to move into a nursing home to recuperate and depending on what happens from there as to if she will ever go home.

This weekend I have been thankful I have been part of such a fantastic celebration and thankful for my family.

I hope when I get older I will tackle whatever is thrown at me with the dignity that Joan has shown! She really is an inspiration.

(The above picture is of Grandma Joan, her grandchildren & great grandchildren)



We all need them and let’s be honest the wrong kind can certainly be far worse than an enemy you thought you had!

Now don’t get me wrong I love some ‘me’ time but since having children I, like most parents find having the time to do ‘Me’ things with my girly friends a little more challenging.

Over the years I have had many fine weather friends (these are the kind that are friend when the goings good, but nowhere to be seen when needed!!)

I have since getting older and wiser cracked down on the afore mentioned time wasters and I have scaled down my friend list! (Or was it them while I wasn’t looking?) I have only a select few that I would spend my precious time with now a days.

The reason I have been thinking about ‘my friends’ recently is I have found myself in a somewhat strange position.  I Jaime Oliver have found myself justifying myself and the needs of my family to a husband of a so called friend?? I have not had to justify myself to anyone since I became an adult and am a little taken aback to be honest.

Now this particular ‘friend’ is lovely don’t get me wrong however selfishly or not I don’t have the time to constantly text/talk/chat/email or spend every waking second with someone.

I look at my role at home as a job and I try to carry the majority of the household duties as my hubby works hard at work, weekends and evening we chip in together. Now is it just me that does this?

Is it wrong to want my friends to be able to fit round my hectic family life and still want to be my friend even if we don’t communicate directly for a week or weeks at a time??

In my opinion is not wrong, my other friends don’t seem to have a problem with me not communicating for weeks or even months at a time. They know I would walk over hot coals to help them in anyway if needed and if they rang me at stupid o’clock to cry down the phone I would offer to come to theirs with tissues, chocolate and wine!

I hope I don’t get to many of the above mentioned calls … wine is expensive after all!


My Life So Far … By The Smallest Oliver

I cant believe that he is now 19 months, my mum has always said enjoy every minute as before you know it  it will be gone ……. mums are so right!


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